outie or innie?

Abuse comes in many forms.  The "outies" are easier to define and see.  Leave marks.  Hurt.  Scars.  The "innies" are hard to define, hard to put your finger on and, in my humble opinion, much more hurtful.  Religious abuse.  Emotional abuse.  Controlling behaviors.  They cause self doubt.  They cause pain that nobody can see or diagnose.  And, most sadly of all, it means that the abuse is carried around inside of the abused.  It is always with them.  I have known both kinds.  Frankly, I'd take a slap over the incessant demeaning, dragging down, questioning, mean spirited kind.....because with the "innie" kind, the person being abused blames herself.
And, another little thought that I've been pondering.  Why is it that when a woman chooses what she needs over what her man needs she is considered a heartless b**** but a man can behave in the same way and be considered strong.  Or a leader.  Or.....but never heartless.  Strange. 
Just trying to keep my eyes open.  And trying to allow my heart the fresh air and cleansing that it needs to heal. 
If you found this.  If you're hurting.  Know this, I'm praying for you.  You aren't alone.  You have hope.  The fact that you are looking means that you have not given up.  And that's a start.