Want to just lie down and not get up for about a week. But around here, lying down before a certain time is considered lazy. I don't know what killing time on the computer is....
I am spent. I know what happened today. It was a seemingly stupid little thing. This guy, NOT my husband, who is a major jerk, started making trouble and noise and being a bully to a friend of mine. And that just rather upsets me. But when I was thinking about what a jerk he can be, I began to cry. My husband chooses him over me. He keeps wondering if he was too hard on him. If he was nice enough. Oh my, he doesn't do that for me. Ever. And the fact that he continued to listen to him and try to be chummy with him after the other guy was completely disrespectful and mean to me simply floors me. I don't require a lot of taking care of. But, I needed it. And he tried to be "fair." But never to me. To anyone and everyone else. Not to our kids. But to anyone else's. And today, this thing that happened with a totally different person reminded me that before I ever even knew what a jerk this person was....I knew that my husband was. Yet I kept giving him chances. Believing that I could love him into thinking I was ok. Into thinking that I was worth it. blah blah blah.
See, I can refrain from cussing.
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