I am thinking that I am going to make it. Maybe not intact as many would hope. Maybe not as perfectly as I would have liked. Maybe it won't look like my dream. But, I do think that I will make it. No matter how it looks, I believe that it can be good. And, like "That Girl", I think I'm gonna make it after all.
Day by day.
I have to study and research. Learn.
One little thing at a time.
Trying.
Giving.
Being willing to speak. Today I just wanted to put it to words. I got to my best friend's house. I walked up. I knew that I couldn't. She knows much. She knows me. But to look someone in the face and say the things on my heart....the things that threaten to take me under....not sure that I should. So, I will wait. I will trust. I will be patient with myself. I'm worth waiting for.
I have had a good day. Fear and trembling at moments, but mostly, just learning. Seeking. Listening. Trying. Not striving. Simply giving it my best shot to be who I am supposed to be. It's not easy. But it's an interesting journey.
Will I be able to stand the crying? The anger? The disbelief? The condemning heart spiritually? Probably not, but I will be stronger than I am now. And I will make it.
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