Forgiveness

In every life, mine, yours and every other person on planet earth, there comes pain.  There comes being wronged.  Knowing what action to take afterward is more difficult than it seems.  The Bible says to forgive.  It also says to cast out from fellowship those who don't want to quit the wrong doing.  I have struggled with this forever.
I always felt like forgive forgive forgive was the message of the Bible.  Then I thought about God's view of people who were sacrificing infants.  Or selling children.  It didn't seem very forgiving.  It seemed downright painful.  What about the people who kept complaining in the desert and He opened the ground and they were swallowed up?  Wow.  What I've learned is that the "punishment" and "judgment" aren't my jobs.  But, I am called to make judgment calls.....wisdom decisions.  I am called to not play ignorant and ignore or condone.  And, yes, still called to forgive. 
I think that the reason that God wants me to forgive has a lot to do about me...about not being eaten up by bitterness, but also because unforgiveness leads to my perhaps using the low standard of the other person to justify how much better I am....rather than leaning on grace. 
Sometimes in life, forgiveness does not feel very forgiving.  Because it involves saying good bye.  Or walking away for a time.  Sometimes it involves admitting that we are not able to continue to forgive the same actions against us over and over and over and over.  It involves truth..  Even if I wish the truth were different.
Forgiveness is not cheap.  It takes something huge to cover sin.  I'm not it.  I can be kind.  Understanding.  Compassionate.  I can pray.  I can hope.  But, only Jesus covers.  Without covering up.  By bringing to light. It's an amazingly strange and beautiful concept.
When considering abuse and misuse, when considering continual blatant deceit, forgiveness by the abused is essential.  So is taking a step back.  To truly be able to forgive, sometimes I have to remove myself from continued abuse.
I believe in grace.  In forgiveness.  Not cheaply.  At great cost.  That's why I am in such a struggle in my soul....