Got an Email

Perhaps I need to quit getting email.  Just kidding, but here I am, in bed....again...in recovery.  People have a way of "helping" while really harming.  I got a note with an attached devotional about how God doesn't have a plan b.  How it's right to spend all energy on praying for a restored marriage.  I don't fault her.  But, she sent it to my ex via her sister/brother in law, letting all know that I was getting it too.  She let me know how she saw him and thought of me too.  How she is concerned for him, me, the kids and my marriage.  She is a REALLY nice lady.  But, I've heard from her twice in two years....and we live a mile apart.  I know that she has an opinion.  Which she wants to share.  I get that.  I was pretty blunt in saying that was not where I was.  That the devotional didn't make me want to live that life and that opening a dialogue would probably cause arguing which I am in no shape for.  Now, I have to wonder when I'll hear back.  That's the thing.  Those kinds of emails give me two choices...respond or ignore.  Either one means hearing back again.  It was hard to write bluntly for me.  I was trying to be so kind.  But, really?  If she is concerned for me and wants to be my friend then be my friend.  Not contingent on my marital status.  And just let God do what He does.  And don't tell my ex that you have given me this devotional in hopes that it will help.
Blech.
Early to bed.  Under the down comforter.  Kids at a youth event.  That's good.
Nobody to sit and talk about how hard that was.  It was really hard.  Do you get it?  Do you get how hard it is to have people pop in to fix my life?  And leave pain in the wake?
As if it wasn't hard enough to get to this point.  Seriously.
I'll just have to go through it.  And wait.  And pray.  And desire God's best.  While actively forgiving.  Myself as well as others.
blessings.