Went for some night grocery shopping this evening. One son with dad. Other two kids settled in. I went to get things in because next week is going to be crazy busy and I've got to cook this weekend in order to be prepared for it. Some casual shopping. Without the crowd. Too late for the after work crowd. But then...there was my ex. With my son. They walked right by the row I was in. They didn't say anything...may not have registered that I was there until after they walked by. Though, I'm sure that they had seen my car in the lot. It was right up front.
Then, I was off to get some wine. Celebrating my first quarter of teaching! I survived. I have been brave. I am getting kudos from my boss. I am working hard but also learning to work smart. I like what I do. I care more than I ever have about each individual. Being a mom has upped my empathy...which was high already. I have a lot to learn about getting organized and more neat and efficient with paperwork...but, put me with the kids and my mind goes to how to teach them. Constantly. It's fun.
I have been having teachers sent to me for ideas....by my bosses. That is really humbling. I don't tell others about it. Hard to explain how it's a compliment, but how I really don't feel like I have something to teach them. It's kind of like with parenting. Everyone can share ideas, but each parent has to do what works best for them in their environment, their personality and those of their kids. But still....pretty cool.
Maybe I should write a "back to the workplace" book. Funny how just thinking of writing a book still brings up my ex in my mind. His lack of support has injured me. Frankly, if he was a mechanic, maybe it would have mattered less. But because he's an editor, it always makes me feel like I was judged by a professional and found wanting. He says how he supported me in the poems I wrote in college, but that wasn't it. I needed support as I explored and evolved in writing. I wanted to write something real. Something significant. Something funny even....but with meat.
I won't make my "mark" on the world with the thousands or even hundreds of people that I know or have led to Jesus. I'm simply not the one to get that deep with that many people. But, sharing via writing speaks to my heart.
Who knows...maybe someday.
Think I'll have my baby bottle of wine and cheese and crackers and chocolate. And I think that I will just drink in the beauty of life. I am happy. I am so amazed that I am so very happy. Wow.
grace to you.
Then, I was off to get some wine. Celebrating my first quarter of teaching! I survived. I have been brave. I am getting kudos from my boss. I am working hard but also learning to work smart. I like what I do. I care more than I ever have about each individual. Being a mom has upped my empathy...which was high already. I have a lot to learn about getting organized and more neat and efficient with paperwork...but, put me with the kids and my mind goes to how to teach them. Constantly. It's fun.
I have been having teachers sent to me for ideas....by my bosses. That is really humbling. I don't tell others about it. Hard to explain how it's a compliment, but how I really don't feel like I have something to teach them. It's kind of like with parenting. Everyone can share ideas, but each parent has to do what works best for them in their environment, their personality and those of their kids. But still....pretty cool.
Maybe I should write a "back to the workplace" book. Funny how just thinking of writing a book still brings up my ex in my mind. His lack of support has injured me. Frankly, if he was a mechanic, maybe it would have mattered less. But because he's an editor, it always makes me feel like I was judged by a professional and found wanting. He says how he supported me in the poems I wrote in college, but that wasn't it. I needed support as I explored and evolved in writing. I wanted to write something real. Something significant. Something funny even....but with meat.
I won't make my "mark" on the world with the thousands or even hundreds of people that I know or have led to Jesus. I'm simply not the one to get that deep with that many people. But, sharing via writing speaks to my heart.
Who knows...maybe someday.
Think I'll have my baby bottle of wine and cheese and crackers and chocolate. And I think that I will just drink in the beauty of life. I am happy. I am so amazed that I am so very happy. Wow.
grace to you.
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