anchors away

today i got my first professional job in many years. i have been on a completely life altering course this last year and a half.  and finally, blessedly, i am employed with a "real" job.  funny thing is that i was content with whichever way it would go.  didn't really matter.  i am learning to let go.
and thinking about letting go, today i was thinking how i suddenly feel like i'm floating back up out of the watery depths that i've been in.  and pondering how god is so much like a flotation device.  and how he surrounds us and is strapped on tightly.  but....how i hadn't been floating.  and i wondered why.  and suddenly, i realized, i'd been holding onto an anchor.  i thought that i was doing right, but i wasn't.  i was full of pride about making things work.  though, it wasn't working.  even marriage can't become an idol that supercedes what god has for us.  and strangely, when i began to release the anchor, i began to bob back up.  sometimes, it feels like i've caught the rope on the way up, still holding on.  but today...today it felt like i popped right up and out of the water.  freed of the anchor holding me under.  free to live "floating" wherever god would take me.  free to breathe.  to relax.  to rest.
anchors away.