Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Courage

Courage is not the absence of fear. It is  not even the absence of concern.  It is the absence of being ruled by what ifs or maybes or things that keep us from doing what we could or being who we are meant to be. Period.  Courage is standing up and facing an obstacle with the determination that it will not be the deciding factor in our lives.
Today, I exhibited courage.  I went to a graduation party.  The only one that I really NEEDED to be at.  That was dear to my heart.  And then...for some reason, my non husband was going too.  I told him I'd take the kids.  And I was going to set up times to go and all of that ....but then, I realized that I didn't want to have to make a deal.  I find it offensive that he can't simply give me things that he knows that I need or that are important to me.  I spent too many years feeling like I was trying to get them.  So, I decided that I would just go.  And I did.  And he went too.  And I survived.  It was HARD.  Restaurant setting.  Not so much hiding space. But I did it.  For me.
I got home and was completely worn out.  Spent.  It took all I had.  But I had stood ground that was important to me.  I had maintained who I need to be AND what I needed to be doing.  I made it.
Sure, I shook.  Sure, I was cold.  Sure, I was nervous.  Sure, I felt awkward.  But that's not the point.  Those facts don't take away from the courage.  They add to it.
I am proud.  Of me.  Not for being enough on my own.  But for listening to that voice.  For leaning.  For finding strength were strength always resides...in the Lord.
blessings.

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