I kept myself busy. I took a bath. I worked on the fire. I took my doggies out. I swept the snow off of the walk. Poured myself a glass of wine and sat down and realized that less than two hours had gone by. Seriously. Oh my. But now, it is 9:30 so soon I can go to my room respectably. Respectably for whom, you might ask. Me too. But somehow for me. To let myself know that I didn't just sleep through it. Besides, if I go to bed too early, I will be awake at two am. Don't need to keep waiting for time to pass even all night long. Wow.
No Christmas cookies to put out. No milk. No birthday cake for Jesus. No hugs and giggles as the kids head to be. No "rules" about when my one son can wake everyone up. It's weird. Very.
But it's how it is.
So...there it is.
But I am sad. Deeply so. Sometimes too sad to even cry. Silent sobs.
Ok.
Gonna quit whining. Going to quit thinking how my ex is a jerk. Doesn't do any good.
Gonna rest. And get up to celebrate Christmas.
But the good news is that I realized after my bath that though it's hard..I am doing it...without dragging anyone else into it. And a few months ago I wouldn't have been strong enough. Now I am
Blessings.
No Christmas cookies to put out. No milk. No birthday cake for Jesus. No hugs and giggles as the kids head to be. No "rules" about when my one son can wake everyone up. It's weird. Very.
But it's how it is.
So...there it is.
But I am sad. Deeply so. Sometimes too sad to even cry. Silent sobs.
Ok.
Gonna quit whining. Going to quit thinking how my ex is a jerk. Doesn't do any good.
Gonna rest. And get up to celebrate Christmas.
But the good news is that I realized after my bath that though it's hard..I am doing it...without dragging anyone else into it. And a few months ago I wouldn't have been strong enough. Now I am
Blessings.
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