I only cried when a kid asked me what I was doing tomorrow. Began giving scenarios. I hadn't thought of what to say when asked. Something chipper. I said that it would be a good day. But, the tears began as I walked away. She called me back to ask me something else. I choked back the emotion and turned back. But boy, it was tough.
And now...here I am. On Christmas Eve. Me. My dogs. My fire and Christmas tree. A really yummy roast I slow cooked since yesterday. Brie cheese. Towels to fold. Some chores to do. Stuff to occupy myself on my mind.
My eldest adopted son called and wished me a happy Christmas Eve. Twas thoughtful. Actually, it was left on a message.
Today I had to realize that I wouldn't probably hear from my kids. That they are uncomfortable talking in front of everyone. And...emotionally, I think that it might be too hard on them
Shopping done. For my kids at least.
I'm making it. A few minutes at a time. Cleaned up around the yard today. More laundry. Shopping. Avoid people I know at the store. Still wish I was up to the Christmas Eve service. Oh well. I'll just play carols at home.
I'm ok. I'm even able to say no thanks. I think that I have it in check. I have posole cooking. Smells delicious. I'll freeze the leftovers for when my kids get back. I might make banana bread for breakfast. Maybe. We'll see. My body demands a lot of rest in between doing things. I am working through a hard thing and it is draining.
I did realize today how important it is for me to contact people in future years and wish them a happy Christmas...because maybe they are having a hard time. I have heard from one friend. As it should be. People have things to do. But, I want to use this time to make me kinder and more sensitive to what others might need in the future.
Blessings to you. And though you don't know me, I still pray for you. I hope that Christmas finds you knowing that there is hope. That there are choices. But most of all, that you are abundantly and blessedly loved. And His love never fails. Ever.
Merry Christmas Eve
And now...here I am. On Christmas Eve. Me. My dogs. My fire and Christmas tree. A really yummy roast I slow cooked since yesterday. Brie cheese. Towels to fold. Some chores to do. Stuff to occupy myself on my mind.
My eldest adopted son called and wished me a happy Christmas Eve. Twas thoughtful. Actually, it was left on a message.
Today I had to realize that I wouldn't probably hear from my kids. That they are uncomfortable talking in front of everyone. And...emotionally, I think that it might be too hard on them
Shopping done. For my kids at least.
I'm making it. A few minutes at a time. Cleaned up around the yard today. More laundry. Shopping. Avoid people I know at the store. Still wish I was up to the Christmas Eve service. Oh well. I'll just play carols at home.
I'm ok. I'm even able to say no thanks. I think that I have it in check. I have posole cooking. Smells delicious. I'll freeze the leftovers for when my kids get back. I might make banana bread for breakfast. Maybe. We'll see. My body demands a lot of rest in between doing things. I am working through a hard thing and it is draining.
I did realize today how important it is for me to contact people in future years and wish them a happy Christmas...because maybe they are having a hard time. I have heard from one friend. As it should be. People have things to do. But, I want to use this time to make me kinder and more sensitive to what others might need in the future.
Blessings to you. And though you don't know me, I still pray for you. I hope that Christmas finds you knowing that there is hope. That there are choices. But most of all, that you are abundantly and blessedly loved. And His love never fails. Ever.
Merry Christmas Eve
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