Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Laying Claim

I am laying claim on my home.  Prayerfully and intentionally.  I am working on changing things.  Moving things.  I am trying to make it....new for me.  A place that I can do more than just stand being...a place that calls to me peacefully.  Restfully.  I have shut down for so long, that I hardly know how to let myself relax in my own home.  This last week...the alone time...was good for that.  Learning.  I don't have it down yet.  But I'm learning.  Trying.  Relaxing.  In a way.  A way that I haven't before.
I am also laying claim to my story.  To being able to speak it.  To own it.
I am laying claim to my family.  For all of the drama this week....one great thing.  My eldest son met the need of my middle son.  And it has changed my middle son.  Someone cared for him.  Was kind to him.  Loved him.  I will never forget how dedicated my eldest was in taking care of his little brother.
I am laying claim to my faith.  To true faith.  Not the gobbledy gook that I got caught up in while married.  Not the condemning, demeaning, judging life....real faith.  The kind that moves mountains.  Really.  I've experienced that again this year.  The mountain of hopelessness...of despair...of abusive attitudes. They have been moved.  God does that.  Not in a way I ever expected.  I spent so long trying to remake who He made me to be...so that I could try to hold things together.  Now, I'm going to lay claim to the faith that has carried me all of my life.
Laying claim.  Speaking it so.  Choosing.  Living.  Action.  In my life.  I am not a victim.
blessings.

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