Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Trying not to be needy

Today I have been so....needy feeling...off kelter.....shocked....numb.....and, sick too.  A friend called me today to tell me that she had been sick.  She is cold when I try to explain how things are.  But, at first, I almost didn't say why I had gone to get my son.  I was going to brush over it and let it go.  However, I stopped took a breath and just said it.  She assumed that my sons problems are due to the separation.  Made a comment.  I said no.  That he is relieved.  She was more than surprised.  She really doesn't get it.  And doesn't want to.
She talked about how she knew that I had been alone and how hard that had been but how she hadn't wanted to intrude on that.  I had been alone for five days.  I hadn't heard from her at all.  And now that I did, it simply felt like a put down.  She makes me feel small for having my feelings and emotions.
That. The note using the words deceptive emotions.  A card from someone in FL. that my ex must know.  Just all weigh on top of the emotions of the week.  First of being alone and then of having to deal with the days of drama and then the trip to "rescue" my boys.  Too much for me.
I'm weary.  Seriously.
blessings.

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