Ok, I'm ready. Purse is cleaned out. Ok, have to pack a few of the necessities in the morning, but other than that....I am ready to roll. Yep. What adventures await? Shopping? Resting? Lots of driving for sure. Reading? Oh, that reminds me...bought myself a book for Valentine's Day....;)
Got my kids the traditional day after the fact Valentine's candy. That began when my daughter was born on Valentine's Day. It means....much larger box of candy. They like that.
Have a little cash for the trip. Put all of my change in my piggy bank...still not as full as it was before it had to be donated to the general fund, but it's getting there.
I am waiting in anticipation. For the fun. For the stillness. My son is pretty laid back. Think we'll grill one night. Something easy to eat will be our goal. ;)
And my friend will see her mama. And that is a special thing no matter how old you get to be. There are so many times that I wish that I could sit down and talk with my own mama. Have her love on me. But, though I can't, I have to say, I have been blessed by many to love me in my life. And to love. People who know how to love. And who love me. Well. Generously. Without holding back. I haven't had that in my marriage. It has been "if" love. It has been "when" love.
Ok, I am so very tired. And my hope is that he doesn't try to have a big conversation tonight. He hasn't asked. So, it wouldn't be polite for him to assume that I would want to. He can't just barge in anymore. He doesn't have that right anymore.
Life has changed. I have changed. I gave so much. It caused me to grow. But.....he is just beginning his first steps of knowing what that feels like. I wish him well. But I can't carry him through. He is going to have to walk that road without my strength.
And I am taking a trip. And he isn't happy. And he is trying so hard not to say so right now. Because he wants to impress me with how he has changed. I'm not buying it. I hear his controlling questions. His intrusiveness. His jealousy. I wish that he could wish me well in the times in life when I actually get something that means something to me. He can't. He wants what anybody else had. Always.
Purse cleaned out. Bag packed but open. The day is coming. I am glad.
grace to you.
Got my kids the traditional day after the fact Valentine's candy. That began when my daughter was born on Valentine's Day. It means....much larger box of candy. They like that.
Have a little cash for the trip. Put all of my change in my piggy bank...still not as full as it was before it had to be donated to the general fund, but it's getting there.
I am waiting in anticipation. For the fun. For the stillness. My son is pretty laid back. Think we'll grill one night. Something easy to eat will be our goal. ;)
And my friend will see her mama. And that is a special thing no matter how old you get to be. There are so many times that I wish that I could sit down and talk with my own mama. Have her love on me. But, though I can't, I have to say, I have been blessed by many to love me in my life. And to love. People who know how to love. And who love me. Well. Generously. Without holding back. I haven't had that in my marriage. It has been "if" love. It has been "when" love.
Ok, I am so very tired. And my hope is that he doesn't try to have a big conversation tonight. He hasn't asked. So, it wouldn't be polite for him to assume that I would want to. He can't just barge in anymore. He doesn't have that right anymore.
Life has changed. I have changed. I gave so much. It caused me to grow. But.....he is just beginning his first steps of knowing what that feels like. I wish him well. But I can't carry him through. He is going to have to walk that road without my strength.
And I am taking a trip. And he isn't happy. And he is trying so hard not to say so right now. Because he wants to impress me with how he has changed. I'm not buying it. I hear his controlling questions. His intrusiveness. His jealousy. I wish that he could wish me well in the times in life when I actually get something that means something to me. He can't. He wants what anybody else had. Always.
Purse cleaned out. Bag packed but open. The day is coming. I am glad.
grace to you.
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