So, I have "gotten up"...to have some food. And here I am snuggled on the couch. Reading. Watching Wuthering Heights. Enjoying looking out at the snow. Wishing that he wasn't coming home tonight. Perhaps he will get stuck in Denver. Not sure if he had his meeting or not. But he left at five. So probably.
As I veg here I struggle with feeling guilty because I wish that it was like this more often. All of the time. Him gone. Because it is just so peaceful. Comfortable. Easy. Not that life is easy. But the troubles are multiplied when he is around...not diminished. And that is what I've learned. His being in my life should support. Uphold. Help. Not traumatize. Trouble. Weigh down.
I will endeavor to enjoy today. Completely. Wholly. Resting. At rest. Peaceful. I will try to not feel guilty. This is a gift for me. I should treasure it.
grace to you.
As I veg here I struggle with feeling guilty because I wish that it was like this more often. All of the time. Him gone. Because it is just so peaceful. Comfortable. Easy. Not that life is easy. But the troubles are multiplied when he is around...not diminished. And that is what I've learned. His being in my life should support. Uphold. Help. Not traumatize. Trouble. Weigh down.
I will endeavor to enjoy today. Completely. Wholly. Resting. At rest. Peaceful. I will try to not feel guilty. This is a gift for me. I should treasure it.
grace to you.
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