The sun is shining. God did not send a big snowstorm and snow me in....at least not where I am. However, the roads ahead are CLOSED. Wind. Snow. Might have to stay another night. That is a nice thing. To me. Forced vacations are lovely. Enjoyable. I've had a few times of being "snowed in" when staying in the mountains. And I loved it. My husband wasn't there. And I got a reprieve. I love that. A sense of peace washes over me. Can rest for another day. A gift from my Father.
I feel just like I do on snow days from school.....woot woot!! Happy. Joyful. Wanting to rest and relax. It makes me happy to do so.
In a perfect world, I would actually be happy to go home and see my husband. Time away would be ok, but time together would be better. It has never been that way. Ever.
Something began very early on that caused me to begin to have a feeling of unrest. I feel torn down. Like he doesn't care at all. Does he? I really don't know. In his mind, I think that he does. But he can't get that going out of your way for someone is important. That giving people what they need to thrive is not an option. That kindness doesn't look like doing just what you want and calling it good, but rather seeing what is indeed good for them. He doesn't even see me. Not at all. Unless he is uncomfortable. Then he tells me how I shouldn't feel. Or shouldn't think. How sad for him. Because this woman that he first met is actually a really wonderful woman. Vibrant. Creative. Fun. And now all he has from her is her profound wish not to be with him...........he hurts her. Hurts more than he benefits. That's sad. There is grief. And yet, more, there is looking forward to a time when I don't have to constantly try to figure out how to work around him. Being stranded helps....but how nice to be stranded and have a forced vacation where I actually wanted to be there. Not going to happen. Oh, I know it CAN....but not without my say so. And I don't want to say so anymore. His possessiveness, his jealousy, his unkindness, his standards.....they aren't love.
grace to you.........from my blessedly stranded self.
I feel just like I do on snow days from school.....woot woot!! Happy. Joyful. Wanting to rest and relax. It makes me happy to do so.
In a perfect world, I would actually be happy to go home and see my husband. Time away would be ok, but time together would be better. It has never been that way. Ever.
Something began very early on that caused me to begin to have a feeling of unrest. I feel torn down. Like he doesn't care at all. Does he? I really don't know. In his mind, I think that he does. But he can't get that going out of your way for someone is important. That giving people what they need to thrive is not an option. That kindness doesn't look like doing just what you want and calling it good, but rather seeing what is indeed good for them. He doesn't even see me. Not at all. Unless he is uncomfortable. Then he tells me how I shouldn't feel. Or shouldn't think. How sad for him. Because this woman that he first met is actually a really wonderful woman. Vibrant. Creative. Fun. And now all he has from her is her profound wish not to be with him...........he hurts her. Hurts more than he benefits. That's sad. There is grief. And yet, more, there is looking forward to a time when I don't have to constantly try to figure out how to work around him. Being stranded helps....but how nice to be stranded and have a forced vacation where I actually wanted to be there. Not going to happen. Oh, I know it CAN....but not without my say so. And I don't want to say so anymore. His possessiveness, his jealousy, his unkindness, his standards.....they aren't love.
grace to you.........from my blessedly stranded self.
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