Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Get Out of the Way

I have this overwhelming need to just get out of the way.  Move aside.  Be alone.  Not be a burden of any sort. Weary of feeling always as if I'm on the outside looking in.  Third wheels are kind of a drag.  I'm not sad.  Just aware.  I need to spend more time letting others do their things and just chilling doing what it is that I do.  It's hard to explain to anyone about why I'm divorced.  I'm not good at doing things that are so deep with people who didn't walk along and see.
I am lousy at small talk.
So, I think that I need to back off and get out of the way and let others have their time with each other.  Because I'm just really not doing very well at fitting in.
That's ok.  I need naps and book time.  I'll be hunky dory.
Just a little hard to keep coming back to the place that I truly am different.  Weird.  Kinda tired of it.  But, being more separate helps to ease that.  It's not that I'm bad.  I'm just not a part of something extended like most people are.  I don't have extended family that is "like me".  I'mjust me. Nowonder I feel this way.
Keep wondering if people think that my ex must have had a hard time with me because of how I am.
Oh well.  He was not such a nice man.  blessings.

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