Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Looking at the new

Been doing some online browsing for new furniture.  For things that I might like....that still fit a lifestyle of dogs and kids.  But, it has helped me to look around at what I should get rid of.
And talking.  Talking with the kids about doing things differently.  Getting rid.  Tossing.  Keeping the memories and getting rid of the rest.  It's a huge, emotionally draining, painful process.  But it's also healing.
Eventually the van will be out of my driveway.  Not a daily reminder that it kept being a problem.....that he wouldn't solve.  That was a bad time.  He let me drive something that was less than safe.  That makes me feel sad.  It took me a long time to realize how much that hurt me.
And his stuff will be out of the barn.  Or my stuff that he is taking.  Funny...he came to the marriage with very little.  His family didn't give him stuff.  My grandpa did.  And then when my grandpa died, I got more.  And when grandma died...even more.  His mom gave us a footstool.  Which she took back when she decided that we weren't using it properly.  She gave him his dresser.  Said that if we didn't want it anymore, we should give it back to her. He has that.....
Looking around to get rid of is very freeing feeling.  It just takes a lot of time to figure it out.  To see with new eyes.  So used to having to hold on to everything.  Not anymore.
Talked to the kids about having a really cheap garage sale.  A dollar sale or something like that.  They are receptive.  It's hard work.  They know that.  But..they are being kind.
I am hesitantly excited.
Moving on. 

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