gone

Three of my kids are gone this morning.  For a whole week.  To Texas.  With their dad.  They are going to a family reunion.  I know that it will be fun.  But it's still hurtful.  That my one son is ostracized...he's not going.  And my other son wasn't even asked until it was too late for him to go.  Just weird. And the grown one with kids wasn't asked either.  So, three went.  But three stayed home.  Two of the ones that stayed home don't live with me anymore.  But one does.  And I wonder what goes on in his brain regarding all of this.  He won't say a lot.  And he's stressed about going to college....well, the getting organized part.
But.....though there are those moments that I think that I really blew it.  Where I wonder how I could have screwed up so much.  Well.  In these moments, it feels like I saved my kids to leave my marriage.  The emotional upheaval is less. And they have a chance to grow.
My youngest son looked at me as he was getting ready to walk out the door and said, "look, I shaved, no more mustache."  Made me laugh.  He had the fuzzy hairs of teen age boys.
So, a week til they return.  Then a week til I go back to school.  Two weeks.  So many things to do.  Including a little sleeping in.
blessings.