Overwhelmed

I am learning that most of my tough emotions come from being overwhelmed.  I do so much now.  It used to be the kids and I.  They also knew how to keep their dad happier....we cleaned and such.  Now, it's like they are taking a breath.  And, for the most part, I am letting them.  I love when they help.  I just don't want to push them.  I just want to let them breathe a bit.
I have a hard time though.  Because I work so hard, have to do the house, cook the meals.  It's not having the ex gone, it's the change in the kids.  They are breathing.  They need to know that they don't have to earn my love.  I am getting that.  But.....for me....it's meaning a lot of stuff with a new job to go with it all.
I went to a friend's house tonight to drop off some stuff.  Not to stay.  I feel awkward because she had already said that she had cleaning planned.  I kept her from it.  She is hospitable.  But the thing was that I could barely push myself back out the door.  I just wanted to go to sleep and be cared for. 
I don't have anyone to  do that.  However, alone isn't too bad.  I am tired.  It's not a big deal.  It's just that she is that kind of person that makes people relaxed.  But, I am really working on being a more sensitive friend.  Not self centered.  It's hard.  Because my needs are so big these days.
Yet God keeps carrying me.  I know why He made the body, but I also know why He says that He's enough.  There in the lonely nights.  Love that.
Though I have pain.....in the midst of it is this undying joy.
blessings.