Everything is new. So, we might as well do new things. Or, things that I used to do. I started reading to the kids after dinner this evening. They were rather nice about it. One did fall asleep. One colored. One worked on a word find. But we were all there. And doing something non electronic. I think that just maybe...it was a relief. A sense of having direction. I was happy to be with them. I take it slow. Still allow some hiding. They are coming out on their own. We all still need time as well. Time to figure it out. Time to see what we will be. How we will be. I'm glad that I have this time before their brother gets home from college. We need time to start our "new". To know what those of us who are staying here want and need.
I napped today. I mean, I crashed. Got home from work. Laid down. That's all I really remember. Then the phone rang. I had missed a text. Hmmm. Craziness. It's a kind of exhaustion. It's not bad. It's healing. Just like when you are sick and need the energy for physical healing.
Have a cat here on my bed snoring! Literally. My tiny bed and the little dog and cat have decided that it THE place to be. What a riot.
I am content with him gone. Everything is not as I want it to be. Yet, it's as if it is finally getting there.
Did a stress level test today. Nearly double the number for the high end. That's ok. It will reduce. I will make strides in caring for myself. Water. Exercise. Food choices. Sleep. Deep breathing.
And....strangely, I am learning about self massage. Get your mind out of the gutter. Really, I have lotions that I bought that were never opened. I never once got a massage that wasn't about sex in my marriage. Even when I was pregnant. But, I'm good with finding knots and I've always just sort of worked the reachable ones out. So...I figure that if I use the relaxing muscle lotion it will help. Can't hurt. And it's good for the skin. I need every relaxation and pampering thing I can do.
I'm very tired, but it's a good day. I am blessed. I hope that you are. I hope that you sense that you are being prayed for. You are cared for. Loved. You really are not alone. Take care of you.
blessings.
I napped today. I mean, I crashed. Got home from work. Laid down. That's all I really remember. Then the phone rang. I had missed a text. Hmmm. Craziness. It's a kind of exhaustion. It's not bad. It's healing. Just like when you are sick and need the energy for physical healing.
Have a cat here on my bed snoring! Literally. My tiny bed and the little dog and cat have decided that it THE place to be. What a riot.
I am content with him gone. Everything is not as I want it to be. Yet, it's as if it is finally getting there.
Did a stress level test today. Nearly double the number for the high end. That's ok. It will reduce. I will make strides in caring for myself. Water. Exercise. Food choices. Sleep. Deep breathing.
And....strangely, I am learning about self massage. Get your mind out of the gutter. Really, I have lotions that I bought that were never opened. I never once got a massage that wasn't about sex in my marriage. Even when I was pregnant. But, I'm good with finding knots and I've always just sort of worked the reachable ones out. So...I figure that if I use the relaxing muscle lotion it will help. Can't hurt. And it's good for the skin. I need every relaxation and pampering thing I can do.
I'm very tired, but it's a good day. I am blessed. I hope that you are. I hope that you sense that you are being prayed for. You are cared for. Loved. You really are not alone. Take care of you.
blessings.
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