Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Monday, April 30, 2012

The Work

One little thing at a time.  I have had to face each and every financial fear.  With no daddy or grandpa or mommy or grandma.  One at a time.  It's not like anybody is around that says, "don't worry sweetie, we'll help you be sure that is taken care of."  And it is ok.  I am finding still that God is my provision.  Not in a stingy, mean spirited way, but in a way that is good and kind and uplifting.
I have nearly cut my house insurance in half....working on it still.  I have figure out where to pay my property taxes since he said he left the bill....but did not.  And in another six months, I have to pay ANOTHER 900.  I like being able to actually...plan for it.
But, I got him to give me the one little bitty investment that we had....that I said we should establish 20 years ago.  That we were supposed to build. Ha.  Has a minimum amount in it.  But...it will be enough.  Of course, in so doing. he felt that he should be able to keep the money from the taxes.  To fix the van so it will be safe for him to drive it to Texas!!!  Wow.  That's going to cost a pretty penny.  Mercy.  I said ok.  But suggested that he get a car instead....since he had said that he also wanted it safe for the boys to drive it.  That apparently irritated him...because HE already has a car and it's me who doesn't.  I said fine...keep the money.  Fix the van.  I didn't mention the times when he said he'd give me a little money from selling  a house or tax refunds or bonus checks to get a run around car.  Because really, what's the point?
I just keep working at lowering total bills.  And keeping on top of them.  And praying that God will show me what to do.  And trusting that it will all be ok.  Because it will.  I am sheltered.  By the MOST HIGH GOD.  Amazing.
blessings.

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