Better...but still hard

I left church today.  He was there.  He went to sit with the kids.  It's his week.  But the kids told him that they were waiting for me.  He made it awkward for them.  Instead of having things worked out, he puts them in the middle.  That was really hard on me.  But then, he showed up in the lobby.  And made a beeline for me.  And though I was backing away, he kept talking to me.  Making plans for the afternoon.  How he was taking them to the party and then to the park to watch the solar eclipse.  Mmmmhhhmmmm.  Sure.  Fine.  Just let me get away!  I fail to see how this could not have been addressed via email.
And....I just couldn't stay.  I wanted to see the seniors honored.  Wanted to focus on worship.  But....my friends are his friends and they are all in one area.  I won't do what he does to me.....which is sit two rows away when it's my Sunday with the kids.  It's horribly awkward.
I'm cold. Tired.  Yep.  Emotional wreck.  But not like it used to be.  Won't be days.  I don't think.  I'll rest.  Warm up.  Be at home......breathe.  Pray.  Be quiet.  Cry.  And then I'll go on.
blessings.