Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Just a glance....

I looked and saw, "half off denial services" on the inbox line in my email.  I really had to look again.  I mean, what are denial services?  Does it teach you to deny?  To live in denial?  Ok, so I read it again and it said "dental", not "denial."  Makes much more sense.
Of course, I spent a long time living in denial.  Working at making something there that wasn't.  Nurturing  something that I hoped for and longed for instead of actually seeing and coming to terms with what was.
And now, I am coming out of that.  Growing.  Seeing truth and dealing with it.  Not with anger and meanness, but with new choices.
I could have used some denial services over the years...to teach me what it is to walk in truth in a relationship.  Not that I was being untruthful, but that the relationship itself was not the same as the relationship I was trying to have.  I was in denial.  I wanted it.  I prayed for it.  I worked for it.  But finally....I had to see that it was a mirage.
No denying it.  No calling it something fancy.  It just didn't exist.  Not the good, kind, hopeful, supporting, nurturing relationship that I wanted to give all for.  It just wasn't there.  There was a relationship...but it was quite different.  And my behaving in a certain way wasn't changing it.  So, I need to change my behavior.  And I have.
Now...HE'S living in denial.  Pretending it was there. Hmmm....a little ironic.
blessings.

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