Process

Growing.  Changing.  Learning.  All are a process.  Getting a job...a professional job, has reminded me of this.  I began this journey nearly three years ago.  Really, only 21/2.  But it has been long.  By the time I actually step foot in a classroom, it will have been about three years.  I can't believe it.  And yet, the journey is part of what will make me a better employee.  It is hat has helped to change me.  To allow me to see that I don't want just "any" job.  I want the right job for me.  I do understand that I need to earn a paycheck.  But I also understand that I need to feel like I am contributing.  That I am able to use my gifts and personality. 
This journey frustrates me at times.  I am a good teacher.  Better than good, really.  Yet, I lack the current vocabulary.  I chafe against the pulling teachers away from students and putting them in front of paperwork.  To be a great teacher takes a lot of reflection time.  Time to think of each student.  Time to evaluate.  Time to regroup.  But, I want to dive in in some ways.  To see if I have what it takes. 
But what I have learned about me is that I'm not only a teacher.  I love painting the furniture.  Working in my garden. Dreaming.  Planning.  Envisioning.  I thrive on beauty. 
And I love time with my kids.  Real time.  Even just moments.  Cherished.  Wonderful.  Blessed.  And this time of subbing has given me that outlet. 
It's hard to get my hopes up.  I know that I haven't interviewed well.  But, I also know that God has a plan for my life.  For my abilities.  And I'm going to trust Him to bring that plan to be.  As He has been about doing these years. 
I had a good year.  I subbed.  That had terrified me before.  But I did it!  Pretty amazing.
blessings.