Cold

I have been doing so much better but sometimes, I just seem to fall apart somewhere inside.  This morning I got home and my husband was still here.  I had been looking forward to a few hours in the house on my own.  It doesn't happen often in a family of our size.  He did finally leave, but I was chilled to the bones.  Couldn't warm up.  Was working around and trying.  Finally I had to go take a really hot bath to try to do it.  Still just felt cold.  Then, I mentally forced my body to "relax and let go"...and it was like the cold went out and the warm began to seep in.  And I was neck deep in the steamy tub wondering why a body physically does that.  Finally I realized that, for me, it's like a type of shock...my body behaves that way from the stress. 
It's true that it has been better, but when this occurs, it just kind of throws me.  Makes me uneasy.  So, I'm going to take it easy this morning and try to remember the good things.  Try to enjoy relaxing. 
He came back and now it's all about what I am supposed to get done and performing.  Yet, when he was gone, I did so much AND I rested and met my needs.  Hard under the stress.
But, I am determined.  Also, I am going to figure out whether to drive or fly to visit my son in November.  If that works for him.
grace to you.