Faith is a Verb

I've been wearing my daughter's faith (v.) dog tag necklace.  It reminds me.  Daily.  Faith is a verb.  Ok, faith is really a thing, making it a noun.  But, deeper still, faith is a verb.  An action.  I have to choose faith over hopelessness.  Over fear.  Over intimidation.  Over conformity.  Over fitting in.  I have to choose to remember, believe and act on the fact that God is always faithful and will continue to be when I falter, stumble, get scared or simply forget or lose my way.  I have to remember that I'm not called to figure everything out.  I just have to live to bring Him honor. 
It's harder than it sounds.  Much easier to simply fit in, look like everyone else, look like everything is fine.  And, everything is fine.  In a way.  Though it's not.  It is fine because He holds me.  He holds my kids.  He knows every need, hope, dream, vision, desire and unfulfilled gift.  He not only knows, but He cares. 
In the midst of this time.  Of this day.  This day where it's really hard because I had such a good week on my own...well, with the exception of having my dear boy go....and now it's back to the weight, the ick feeling.  Blah.  I don't like it. 
But, I do have faith.  That I am growing and learning.  That I will be carried, led, fed and clothed.  That He will be the fulfiller of my heart needs, the Lover of my soul.  He even loves my soul!  I love that!  And He sees a purpose for my life.  For me.  Not just for me within my positions as wife and mother....but for me.  I feel almost guilty saying it.  I keep hearing how those things ARE the ministry.  I think that they are to a degree....but I think that I do those things better when I find what I am supposed to be doing with God....that I walk my walk and my kids walk along seeing what God is about doing in my life and then they replicate it.  I always believed that.  Got lost.  My focus is God.  Not how He might fit around my family.  Not how I can live life for Him in my spare moments.  He is my breath.  He is the faithful one.  He is good.  He is enough.  For me.  And, strangely, my little bit is enough.....for Him...because He is more than capable of making up the difference.
grace to you.  i'm off to living faith as a verb.  i hope.