DQ and Jammies

My three youngest "kids" and I went to the DQ drive through.....two of us in our jammies.  It was really fun.  I like being with them.  Life seeing how thankful they are for little things.  Memories are made of such little moments.  I like that too. 
I am finding myself rather alone in life as far as adult world.  It's as if there's nobody to really talk to.  So, I make memories.  I write.  I look for work.  I try really hard to simply know that the world is full of times that are like this and that I will make it through.
Feels like I'm a bother.  I guess that is because....I am these days.  I'm probably not that much fun and really, I don't have it in me to fake it.  I have been trying to keep from pulling others down and from causing discomfort, but I'm pretty sure that I do anyway.  But, I am where I am.  I simply can't worry about it anymore.
I just need time.  I need to enjoy little things.  Like DQ in jammies.  Like a good book.  Like rest.  I don't think many people will be calling me up these days.  But, these days will pass.  And eventually, I will be again the person that I long to know....that I long to be.  Until then I will need to be patient.  Need to know that the lonely days won't be forever.  And know that people are just doing the best that they can in the world.  Just like me. 
Making memories.  Staying connected with my kids. That I can do.  I can't make myself any other family, though I wish daily that I had some.  Someone who would call me up because I'm theirs.  Ok, I need not to go there late at night.  My husband has his family.  I have none.  End of story.  I just need to live my life in joy and peace.  Find the good and excellent and dwell on it. 
Like a butterfinger blizzard.  It had been a LONG time.
grace to you.