Spring in My Step

Today of all days...and I have a spring in my step.  Crazy.  But, what a release!!!  Like a smile that is constantly waiting to escape.  Like.....I used to be!!!!!
And today he left me a card.  Told me how he doesn't regret our years.  Would still choose me.  Good stuff.  That I have given him much.  And, you know, that is true.  Very true.  Adventure and joy.  But, he has given me shame and condemnation in return.  And I tried so hard to be worthy of the good man's love and respect.  To no avail.  He uses the right words.  Or, it sounds like it.  But, today clarity came.  I realized that.....everything he says has to do with what I give.  Not how he wants to be.  Not how he cherishes me.  What I do for him.  How I make him feel.  Everything still...even now...revolves around him.  What a crazy world.
But, I'm going to enjoy the.....JOY.  The PEACE!! The nice night.  Gonna watch some shows.  I like Suits.  Gonna get a good night's rest and go o my last day of teaching tomorrow.  I have absolutely loved it.  And, you know what?  The teacher's I work with see me.  They get the kind of person I am.  There are people asking for my phone number and email so that we can see each other again.  How blessed I feel.  Though the journey is hard, though it often seems impossible, there are streams in this desert; refreshing water.  Truly refreshing.  Gloriously.
And if you are hurting.  If you are facing a journey you didn't plan on.  Pains that you never imagined.  If you feel alone, I invite you to keep walking with me.  Know that you are not alone.  Even if nobody seems to get it.  There are many of us.  I am praying for you.
grace to you.