Joyful

Today I am unreasonably tired.  Down to my toes.  Picked my daughter up from camp today.  Twas fun.  I'm just worn out.  Emotions of ending school. Work of ending school.  Getting daughter back who was ultra rowdy crazy loud for several hours......I love that about her too, she loves life.....Trying to face a church picnic tomorrow.  Don't know if I will or if I won't.  Guess I'll know when the time comes.  When I'm too tired it's too hard to decide.
But floating through it all is the joy.  Fills me.  I refuse to live under the guilt or unkindness or shame that anyone wants to throw.  I might falter.  Probably.  But I choose to stand up and remember that I was made for a purpose.  And that my Father takes delight in me.  Love that.  I am ssssoooo tired though.  Makes it hard not to have a door to close.  A place to hide away.  But, I'm adjusting.  Life is not always what we expect.
I would like to find a place to worship.  Maybe Saturday nights would work better for me since I'm often fleeing on Saturdays...that's a thought.
I looked back at the beginning of this writing.  Though it wasn't the beginning of my story, it was the beginning of my healing.  Of my understanding.  Of my being brave enough to stand up and decide what my life was going to look like.  Circumstances will always change, but I have to decide who to be.
grace to you.