Life is full of motion. It doesn't stand still. Things happen. And we keep on going. Moving. Traveling. Journeying. And this week he is moving out. And we have to be moving on. Changing. Learning.
He said that he had to move on Saturday because he couldn't lift the things on his own. Needed the kids to help. It was hard to say that I didn't think that they should have to. That maybe he could get a friend and do it when they are not around. He might. I'm hoping that whomever he asks knows what is going on so that it isn't too hard on them. Because the one person he mentioned I wasn't sure knew anything. But I can't help it. I'll just let it go as it does.
I think that he thought that I was going to say never mind. You don't have to go. But I can't do that. It's time for healing. Life doesn't get out of a cycle until I change something. I've tried changing myself. Tried changing events. Tried changing attitudes. But, we need to change how and where we live. I need to give myself a chance to make it. To rest and work and live without this constant stress hanging over me. Suffocating. Choking. So, while it is hard to do this, it is also freeing. I am more responsible than he knows. Or gives credit for. I will work hard. I will learn to make a way. I will pray and connect with the One who loves and leads.
It's a time for moving on. To a new place in life. So...off and away. Though I'll cry. And I'll worry. And I'll be sad. And I'll wonder. In my very depths....I know that this is where I am. That he did not choose a marriage. He chose him. And while he would "stay"....the reasons were selfish.
So....here's to moving. moving out. and moving on. Gently. Peacefully. Painfully. Gratefully.
blessings.
He said that he had to move on Saturday because he couldn't lift the things on his own. Needed the kids to help. It was hard to say that I didn't think that they should have to. That maybe he could get a friend and do it when they are not around. He might. I'm hoping that whomever he asks knows what is going on so that it isn't too hard on them. Because the one person he mentioned I wasn't sure knew anything. But I can't help it. I'll just let it go as it does.
I think that he thought that I was going to say never mind. You don't have to go. But I can't do that. It's time for healing. Life doesn't get out of a cycle until I change something. I've tried changing myself. Tried changing events. Tried changing attitudes. But, we need to change how and where we live. I need to give myself a chance to make it. To rest and work and live without this constant stress hanging over me. Suffocating. Choking. So, while it is hard to do this, it is also freeing. I am more responsible than he knows. Or gives credit for. I will work hard. I will learn to make a way. I will pray and connect with the One who loves and leads.
It's a time for moving on. To a new place in life. So...off and away. Though I'll cry. And I'll worry. And I'll be sad. And I'll wonder. In my very depths....I know that this is where I am. That he did not choose a marriage. He chose him. And while he would "stay"....the reasons were selfish.
So....here's to moving. moving out. and moving on. Gently. Peacefully. Painfully. Gratefully.
blessings.
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