Telling.

You know, in some ways it is a relief to begin to tell others of my separation.  To say it and just let it be there.  For what it is.  It's not my job what they think.  Or feel.  Though sometimes I can see that there will be a need to comfort.  As odd as that sounds.  Because people are afraid.  Afraid it will happen to them.  Afraid that those cracks that they have been seeing in their own relationship will break wide open if they gaze upon ones who have broken apart.  Actually, my experience declares the opposite.  You can use those "sightings" to gather up your resources to grow stronger.  Unfortunately for my specific case, my husband only does it as an outward action to the rest of the world.  Does for others what he thinks will make things good.  But nothing between us would change.  Though, the "sightings" would bring us to a place of dealing with a common interest...which helped to a degree.  It at least enforced the cold war.
But now, telling people just lets things fall as they may. I'm not asking for permission.  I'm not explaining why.  I'm just saying.  And letting them decide what to do.  Some back away.  Some suddenly want to see me....talk some sense into me.  Others have good words.  Kind words.  Compassion.   And what I get is that they each have a right to their own feelings and convictions as well.  And I have to honor that.
But telling beats not telling.  This whole silence thing has been killer.
And now it's time to move along.  Get it out.  Be done with wondering.  It will be whatever it is.
blessings.