Yep. Today is a hard hard day. But, while I was out, my Main Man got me flowers today. A hundred buds.....they are beautiful. Great colors. Displayed in Mason jars. Made me smile. Yeah, no, don't think of HIM....he is not my main man anymore. And he has not been replaced. My Main Man has always been and always will be the same. His name? Jesus. He was with me at the store as I was struggling to get the boxes for packing stuff up from the dresser that has to leave. He was with me as I kept trying to get everything on my list, but had to keep backtracking...stressed, ya know? And He was there when I saw the amazing price of fifty buds. As a matter of fact, they were in the middle of the aisle...by the MEAT...where I was stopped trying to pull it all together. Ha. And He let me get two bunches. And still stayed in my grocery budget. It's hard sometimes when there is nobody to give TO us. When we have kids who need. And deservedly so. But sometimes, it just feels so good to be......pampered. Not that I know much about it, because that is NOT my story.
But today I remembered how my Main Man had always met those heart needs. Had seen me when I was lonely. Had heard my cries and sent exactly what I needed. And today....I needed roses. A little cheerful pick me up. A glimpse of beauty.
Sure, the day is still hard. I'm still a wreck. And I have a weekend to plan for. Including my own friggin birthday....I think I'll cancel it this year. It's too hard to try to do it. Of course, nothing is different, except that this year I would plan, shop and instead of him cooking, I could stand and help my kids cook. I don't think I have it in me. I had hoped so much that he would have been gone for awhile by then. But, alas, timing doesn't always happen that way. And....even without celebration, I will be thankful to have logged in another year. What a gift. Life. Breath. The goodness of the savior. So, I'm not ungrateful. I'm simply......too crushed, overwhelmed and over needed to need to do any more planning. I'll just make it Easter for the kids and let it go at that. They are good and kind kiddos. I need to focus on that kind of stuff.
ok. A little time before going to pick up from school.
blessings.
But today I remembered how my Main Man had always met those heart needs. Had seen me when I was lonely. Had heard my cries and sent exactly what I needed. And today....I needed roses. A little cheerful pick me up. A glimpse of beauty.
Sure, the day is still hard. I'm still a wreck. And I have a weekend to plan for. Including my own friggin birthday....I think I'll cancel it this year. It's too hard to try to do it. Of course, nothing is different, except that this year I would plan, shop and instead of him cooking, I could stand and help my kids cook. I don't think I have it in me. I had hoped so much that he would have been gone for awhile by then. But, alas, timing doesn't always happen that way. And....even without celebration, I will be thankful to have logged in another year. What a gift. Life. Breath. The goodness of the savior. So, I'm not ungrateful. I'm simply......too crushed, overwhelmed and over needed to need to do any more planning. I'll just make it Easter for the kids and let it go at that. They are good and kind kiddos. I need to focus on that kind of stuff.
ok. A little time before going to pick up from school.
blessings.
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