i am making changes in......just about everything. beginning with in me. creating an attitude that i can live with. creating ideas that motivate me to move forward. creating a peaceful heart by paying attention to the things that make me ill at ease and taking care of myself in those moments.
i am creating a home that isn't what it was before. it's easy to get caught up in just moving things around...but what about actually CHANGING things? the look. the feel. the use. that's what i'm about right now. and it's really fun.
i am currently sitting in what used to be my living room. then, after the ex moved out, i changed it into the kid's game room. it has a pool table in it. oh, and air hockey. and now, it also has a love seat, two sitting chairs and a sleeper sofa. it's a large room. it's, um, cozy? but, it works for the time being. because i am in the process of completely emptying my old family room in an effort to decide exactly what i want to do with it. i really want to put venetian plaster on the walls. in a dove gray tone to go with the stone of my fireplace. with lots of texture and undertones. and i want to put down a papered floor. also a lot of work. but not beyond my ability. not at all. i can do these things. and if i mess up? ah. well....um...does it really matter??? i tried and i learned. that way i'll be better when i move on to the other rooms! because i find that i have ideas. pictures in my head. i've never really taken the time to look at them because i was always expected to settle for something less. expected to be content with how it was because we had it remodeled those um....well, it's about eight years ago now. but right after that, there were things that i really disliked. i have alleviated some of them, but now i want to move on to what is in my brain.
sitting here in this cozy room i actually find that i want to DO things more than i want to escape. and that is good. because i have had to simply rest under the comforter for a good long time.
i'm a little.....alone. not exactly lonely. but i do notice that i have to do things on my own. that's ok. i'll get there. slowly.
change is freeing. inspiring. not just for the heck of it. not because i'm expected to. no. because it's in my soul. i'm changing from the inside out.
it feels really good.
not that i ever get to talk about it. only you lucky ones get to hear of these mini mile stones. but for me, they are like marathons.
blessings.
i am creating a home that isn't what it was before. it's easy to get caught up in just moving things around...but what about actually CHANGING things? the look. the feel. the use. that's what i'm about right now. and it's really fun.
i am currently sitting in what used to be my living room. then, after the ex moved out, i changed it into the kid's game room. it has a pool table in it. oh, and air hockey. and now, it also has a love seat, two sitting chairs and a sleeper sofa. it's a large room. it's, um, cozy? but, it works for the time being. because i am in the process of completely emptying my old family room in an effort to decide exactly what i want to do with it. i really want to put venetian plaster on the walls. in a dove gray tone to go with the stone of my fireplace. with lots of texture and undertones. and i want to put down a papered floor. also a lot of work. but not beyond my ability. not at all. i can do these things. and if i mess up? ah. well....um...does it really matter??? i tried and i learned. that way i'll be better when i move on to the other rooms! because i find that i have ideas. pictures in my head. i've never really taken the time to look at them because i was always expected to settle for something less. expected to be content with how it was because we had it remodeled those um....well, it's about eight years ago now. but right after that, there were things that i really disliked. i have alleviated some of them, but now i want to move on to what is in my brain.
sitting here in this cozy room i actually find that i want to DO things more than i want to escape. and that is good. because i have had to simply rest under the comforter for a good long time.
i'm a little.....alone. not exactly lonely. but i do notice that i have to do things on my own. that's ok. i'll get there. slowly.
change is freeing. inspiring. not just for the heck of it. not because i'm expected to. no. because it's in my soul. i'm changing from the inside out.
it feels really good.
not that i ever get to talk about it. only you lucky ones get to hear of these mini mile stones. but for me, they are like marathons.
blessings.
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