i feel like a turtle that is just coming out of hibernation. living. walking around. kinda slow to get moving. enjoying stretching. enjoying the light.
but, also, i have that feeling of being a turtle because of how they put out their heads and the retract them if there is danger nearby. if things aren't safe. if there's trouble. for a turtle, it's something that might eat them. for me, it's being misunderstood, hurt, finding that i am indeed as unacceptable as my ex felt i was.
i am taking more risks each and every day. i am making myself vulnerable. trying to keep my head out. trying to be brave.
and yet, still trying to be wise enough to protect myself from things that might utterly destroy the frail confidence that is growing within me. it's like a new little seedling. needs care and tenderness.
sometimes i am blindsided. i don't realize that i should have kept my head in. i should have remained still and quiet. invisible. there are times for that. like a hibernating turtle...or a turtle that has awakened but is choosing to be protected in order to be safe from the environment. i am still getting the knack of being myself...as weird as that sounds.
life was hard. life is hard. but it's so very good.
and risk is just that. sometimes it turns out great and sometimes something snaps at you and you have to draw your head back in and regroup.
i need a few minutes to regroup today.
blessings.
but, also, i have that feeling of being a turtle because of how they put out their heads and the retract them if there is danger nearby. if things aren't safe. if there's trouble. for a turtle, it's something that might eat them. for me, it's being misunderstood, hurt, finding that i am indeed as unacceptable as my ex felt i was.
i am taking more risks each and every day. i am making myself vulnerable. trying to keep my head out. trying to be brave.
and yet, still trying to be wise enough to protect myself from things that might utterly destroy the frail confidence that is growing within me. it's like a new little seedling. needs care and tenderness.
sometimes i am blindsided. i don't realize that i should have kept my head in. i should have remained still and quiet. invisible. there are times for that. like a hibernating turtle...or a turtle that has awakened but is choosing to be protected in order to be safe from the environment. i am still getting the knack of being myself...as weird as that sounds.
life was hard. life is hard. but it's so very good.
and risk is just that. sometimes it turns out great and sometimes something snaps at you and you have to draw your head back in and regroup.
i need a few minutes to regroup today.
blessings.
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