shocker

yesterday i had a shocker. i realized something.  had an epiphany.  and it is working magic in my heart.  you see, i like to encourage.  saying the important things matter to me.  but i had become reticent.  because people view me as odd.  strange.  different.
and yesterday i was thinking about how it would feel if it were my last day. or someone else's last day.  what would i bother to say?
i also realized that a part of my self is that i evaluate things....did it help?  did it make a difference?  did it change a life? did it make it better?  what i did.  what I said. how i behaved. and i judge my life.  the meaning of my life. based on that. to make better.  in some way.  or ways.
if i like someone, i should say so.  whenever i think of it.  if i think something good about someone, i should speak it...or write it.  if i see something wonderful about someone, i should share it.  if i think a hug is in order, i should give it.
sure, they might think i'm weird.  crazy girl is so...sensitive.  so....mushy.  so....different.
but if the worst thing i am known for in this world is wanting to cause good....wanting to uplift....saying the obvious.....wearing my heart on my sleeve...well, it's ok. i'm willing to be the fool.  with no response.  if people think that i'm weird or strange because i say that i like them, love them, enjoy them, think that they are fabulous...well, i guess that they can get over it.  or not.  but i don't want to stop.  i don't want to have regrets.  people don't hear enough how much they are cared for.  so..i'll be me.
i'll be who i've always been.
yes, it's probably socially awkward.  don't really care.  i've seen it change lives in these last weeks.  it's worth it.  even though i'm different.
blessings.