Burning

Well, really, I could have just cut up the marital credit cards and check book.  Or, I could have thrown them away.  But.  No.  I started a fire in the grill.  And I burned those babies.  And I was not somber nor worried....as a matter of fact, I was just nearly gleeful.  The only downside was that it was a private party.  Not many people would want to come to that event.  But I delighted in it.  His monetary hold has been so great.  He would threaten to take away the cards or take my money off of the checking...then he would say he trusted me...then, he would say he'd give me cash, but he wouldn't give it to me regularly.  It has been a monetary nightmare.  And, unfortunately, as I explained to him several times, it worked in reverse.  It made me feel like I had to spend when I had access because I knew that at other times I wouldn't.  And what's funny is that I like a good deal.  I'm not extravagant with my shopping habits. But being frugal wasn't what it was about is what I learned.  It was simply having someone to blame.  And that was me.  Key word: WAS.  Oh, he might still blame, but I am not going to have to live there anymore.
I have done a huge thing in living through this time.  Most people separate and are apart during this horror of horrors.  I have lived with him.  In the house.  With the attitudes.  With the kids looking on.  I have had to live in a difficult time and I have done it.  With a lotta help from my friends.  Who have rescued me and nurtured me.  But...they see me and know that I'm doing my best to be as brave as possible.
I done good!!!!
grace.