Here it is. An hour and ten minutes til going out to dinner...hey, i'm nearly done dying my hair. Just finishing the highlights. Ha. And, husband had said he was singing at church. So, we planned on going to dinner at 8 but then he realized that all of us weren't going...and he acted pathetic. That's ok. It was helpful to my heart to have this couple of hours.
This holiday season is filled. With both lovely things and lots of pain. There's a kid in my life who has forgotten how wonderful he is...not to mention how wonderful the rest of us are. I get scared for him. But, I don't doubt that God has a plan. Whether I ever see how it exactly comes about or whether it's much further down the road. I believe. I trust. I see God's fingerprints all over that kid. I know. Most people wouldn't see it through the smoky marijuana haze and the dazed look. The droopy, red eyes. But, I see him. I don't call it what it isn't. It's NOT ok. But, he is beloved. Treasured. Cared for. Thought of. Held dear. And he doesn't have to like it or accept it. It's just a fact. But, he's in a mean phase and I do NOT excuse the behavior. I do NOT back down and simply "keep the peace." I care way too much for that. But, love him I do. And I'm only one of MANY. There is not a prayer warrior...there's a prayer army on his behalf.
And, the stuff with my husband does weigh on me. Hurts me. Because he never really hears me. Ever. And he uses so much guilt. Thing is....I don't have to grip onto it. It's just hard because we live in the same house.
But, he invited all to dinner tonight. That was nice. Chinese food tradition.
Well. Gotta get the bleach out. Praying for you.
grace to you.
This holiday season is filled. With both lovely things and lots of pain. There's a kid in my life who has forgotten how wonderful he is...not to mention how wonderful the rest of us are. I get scared for him. But, I don't doubt that God has a plan. Whether I ever see how it exactly comes about or whether it's much further down the road. I believe. I trust. I see God's fingerprints all over that kid. I know. Most people wouldn't see it through the smoky marijuana haze and the dazed look. The droopy, red eyes. But, I see him. I don't call it what it isn't. It's NOT ok. But, he is beloved. Treasured. Cared for. Thought of. Held dear. And he doesn't have to like it or accept it. It's just a fact. But, he's in a mean phase and I do NOT excuse the behavior. I do NOT back down and simply "keep the peace." I care way too much for that. But, love him I do. And I'm only one of MANY. There is not a prayer warrior...there's a prayer army on his behalf.
And, the stuff with my husband does weigh on me. Hurts me. Because he never really hears me. Ever. And he uses so much guilt. Thing is....I don't have to grip onto it. It's just hard because we live in the same house.
But, he invited all to dinner tonight. That was nice. Chinese food tradition.
Well. Gotta get the bleach out. Praying for you.
grace to you.
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