Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Working Through

I don't know what I'm going to do.  Fell asleep on the couch during a movie at a friends last night.  Slept.  That was good.  Tonight going to a movie with all.  Have to face the night again. The daily harshness.  The blame.  I guess the fact is that I am to blame.  Because I'm making choices.
I am so done.  With his blame.  His fakeness.  His unkindness.  Jealousy disguised as love....this one has always harmed me.  I'm just so done.  But I don't want to give up.  I am not rash.  I do believe in commitment.  But, I can't go on living like this.  Nearly passed out today.  Stress.
He was mad at me again.  Didn't invite him to go to son's house to pick up tv.  Left.  Said good bye.  Called furious.  I am stressed.  I'm supposed to somehow not be fake.  Keep the peace.  Make him happy.  And be sure I mean it.  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Be back sometime.
grace to you.

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