The Things I Don't Like

Today I was thinking about the things I don't like about myself.  Not in a self destructive way...in a constructive way.  Things that I want to change.  Change is always difficult.  But never impossible.  I love that each day is new.  That I get to start over.  And even if every bad thing that happens to me is MY fault.....I can still grow.  So can others.  We might or might not cross paths again with those we hurt.  Those who hurt us.  But, I want to learn.  I want to become someone who masters the art of loving well.  Not being used.  Not being manipulated.  Not manipulating.  Not using.  Trusting.  I know how.  I've had good teachers.  I want to not cower when he comes home.  I hate that.  I'm not even sure what exactly does it.  Just so weary of the battle.  Of the years of not being enough.  Of hearing words that are "kind" but then getting sideswiped.
I want to be strong.  But I don't want to be a quitter.  I want to do whatever it is that helps my kids.  That glorifies God.  That allows me to grow into the person I am meant to be.
I am so many things I wish I wasn't and there are so many things that I wish I was.  Instead of wish....I'm going to do.  To be.  To travel toward the journey of who I want to be when I'm 89and 1/2.  The things I don't like are still a part of me.  And I must not hate them.  I must allow them to become strengths rather than weaknesses.  I look forward to it....kinda'.
grace to you.