My Christmas List...the crazy I'm not getting it but can dream list.

a great camera with a long lens....thinking rebel by canon
boots cute
warm but stylish gloves
a great jacket
a new scent of perfume
candles galore.  with a really cool stand. for table, not freestanding...the dog would catch the house on fire
meaningful jewelry
words to me
car....small, good gas mileage...but cute and comfy.
money for my trip to europe
thumb ring...silver
socks....no holes :)
haircut, highlights lowlights at the nice hair salon
eye brows done
a trip to see my son this spring
a girlfriend trip to the beach
paint brushes
sand paper
flash drive
great program for computer for making websites and tweaking photos
someone to make me dinner a couple of times a week


but mostly....just peace.  to not have to clench my jaw and grin and bear it.
i'd say a divorce.......but it seems tacky.  but i want to be free to live.  really live.  to not feel constantly belittled.  troubled.  worried.
the thing is that mostly, i have all that i want.  so many people to love and be loved by.  i just made the list to prove to myself that i could.  it's hard for me to say what i want for me.....so, there it is.  all spelled out just for me so that i can remember that i do have hopes and dreams.  that i do have things that i enjoy and want to do more of.
grace to you.