Someone died today. I mean, someone dies every day. Every minute. Every second. But, this death occurred on my street. Literally. Someone was hit by a semi at my intersection. And though I don't even know who it was yet, my heart has been crying out. For the changes that will occur in that family. For the pain. For the loss. For the one who was driving the semi. So much hurt.
I think that seeing my mom's car accident on tv somehow changed me. I have a really hard time with car accidents. Especially fatalities. I know that they occur. I know that it doesn't actually effect my life. Yet, when I witness it....it does. Tremendously. I want to weep today. But, instead, I can't even tell people how painful this is for me. It's strange. I DO know that. But, strange or not, it's not something that I can change. I have tried. I can't remove myself from what I understand so deeply. That someone got a call or a visit completely out of the blue. That their mother/daughter/sister/friend is not coming back. Someone is going to the morgue. Someone is calling the family. Someone has had to contact the mortuary. The impact is immense. And nobody was ready for it. As unexpected as a cannon blowing a cannon ball through our living room. Yea, it can happen....but generally it doesn't.
I am not unable to function. I am not morose. I am simply blue. Sad. I empathize. Most people can't.....I guess that is the difference. I am unable not to because I've been there. And once you've been there, you never forget. Even if you think that you have. It stays forever in the memory. Stored in my very cells. Loss. Deep. Tangible. Painful. Too soon.
So, I pray. For all of these people I don't even know. And never will. Because they need to know that they are not alone.
grace to you.
I think that seeing my mom's car accident on tv somehow changed me. I have a really hard time with car accidents. Especially fatalities. I know that they occur. I know that it doesn't actually effect my life. Yet, when I witness it....it does. Tremendously. I want to weep today. But, instead, I can't even tell people how painful this is for me. It's strange. I DO know that. But, strange or not, it's not something that I can change. I have tried. I can't remove myself from what I understand so deeply. That someone got a call or a visit completely out of the blue. That their mother/daughter/sister/friend is not coming back. Someone is going to the morgue. Someone is calling the family. Someone has had to contact the mortuary. The impact is immense. And nobody was ready for it. As unexpected as a cannon blowing a cannon ball through our living room. Yea, it can happen....but generally it doesn't.
I am not unable to function. I am not morose. I am simply blue. Sad. I empathize. Most people can't.....I guess that is the difference. I am unable not to because I've been there. And once you've been there, you never forget. Even if you think that you have. It stays forever in the memory. Stored in my very cells. Loss. Deep. Tangible. Painful. Too soon.
So, I pray. For all of these people I don't even know. And never will. Because they need to know that they are not alone.
grace to you.
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