I was very brave today. I went at interviewed for a job. I know that doesn't sound like much. I know that people interview every day. But, it was a landmark moment for me. It was landmark because I have had a couple of really bad interviews lately. My confidence has been shot. I have suffered from listening to the voice that I shouldn't. And that is my fault. My choice. But, for awhile I couldn't make that decision. Because I was overwhelmed. Ashamed. Full of hurting. And I couldn't believe that I was able. That I really could be the best choice.
But today. Today. It was new. It was full of blessing. I decided that I would walk through this open door though I was terrified and overwhelmed. Though I wasn't sure I even wanted the job. Though I can still hear that voice telling me all that I'm not. I decided. I decided that no matter what happened today, it doesn't say who I am. I decided that no matter how I did or didn't do, it was good. That what happens in my life if not about what I get or how successful I look but how much courage I show and how happy I live. So, I decided to be happy today. To share the real me. To like the real me. And to let her shine. Not who they wanted to see. But, who I am.
And, I probably won't get the job. Because they have a long term sub that is a likely hire. Evenso, I feel exuberant. Proud. Joyful. Peaceful. Because I did not shrink back. I went forward in my own life with courage and the absolute belief that God has a good plan for me. And that I am not so pathetic that I'm going to mess it up. I'm fun. I'm nice. I'm smart. I'm kind. I'm humble. hahahahhahaha. Seriously, I had to pray and talk to myself all the way to the interview and then some. It wasn't EASY....and I DID IT!!!!
Look, here I am having my own little celebration party. Let me just say that when my husband heard that I probably wouldn't get the job since there is a long term sub already in place, he lost interest. Imminent money was his goal. ;) Not to be deterred, I ignored his self centeredness. And I am HAPPY!!!!
grace to you.
But today. Today. It was new. It was full of blessing. I decided that I would walk through this open door though I was terrified and overwhelmed. Though I wasn't sure I even wanted the job. Though I can still hear that voice telling me all that I'm not. I decided. I decided that no matter what happened today, it doesn't say who I am. I decided that no matter how I did or didn't do, it was good. That what happens in my life if not about what I get or how successful I look but how much courage I show and how happy I live. So, I decided to be happy today. To share the real me. To like the real me. And to let her shine. Not who they wanted to see. But, who I am.
And, I probably won't get the job. Because they have a long term sub that is a likely hire. Evenso, I feel exuberant. Proud. Joyful. Peaceful. Because I did not shrink back. I went forward in my own life with courage and the absolute belief that God has a good plan for me. And that I am not so pathetic that I'm going to mess it up. I'm fun. I'm nice. I'm smart. I'm kind. I'm humble. hahahahhahaha. Seriously, I had to pray and talk to myself all the way to the interview and then some. It wasn't EASY....and I DID IT!!!!
Look, here I am having my own little celebration party. Let me just say that when my husband heard that I probably wouldn't get the job since there is a long term sub already in place, he lost interest. Imminent money was his goal. ;) Not to be deterred, I ignored his self centeredness. And I am HAPPY!!!!
grace to you.
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