An Inheritance From the Lord

My children are definitely my greatest inheritance.  Their smiles.  Words of wisdom.  Kindness.  Growing.  Messing up.  Messiness.  Helpfulness.  Searching.  Finding.  They are just simply gifts.  Worth every day of this troubled marriage.  And I never want to forget how I got them.  Given.  Blessed.  Not because I was good or doing anything right, but because God in His mercy knew that I would need them as much as they need me.  We are quite the team.  Can do just about anything.  Strong.  I know that the reason that the older ones have resentment towards their dad is because of how he treats me....and them.....that he doesn't recognize what we do right.  But no matter what he thinks or how he lives or how he thinks about me....I have been given a forever inheritance.  A legacy.  Generations.  I am so blessed.  God has answered every prayer in giving me the strength to raise these kids.  Especially those boys without a dad to give encouragement.  At least he wasn't someone who beat them.  Or drunk.  He might not have built up or helped to grow them spiritually, but he didn't forbid it either.  So, though there are negatives, it could have been worse.  I am blessed.  Truly.  Without a doubt.
Do I wish it had been different?  Sure.  I wish that he had really loved me.  For who I am.  How I am.  I wish that he could really see how great these kids are.  But all he sees is what isn't.  He has glimpses.  He tries to follow some rules to do the right thing.  But, it's just not there.  And, that's too bad.  But, it's not the end of the world.  It is simply what is.  And I am not God.  I don't have to fix it or make it all better.  Love that.
grace to you.