Anger

I am angry that my husband has made it possible that my kids will be angry with me for the separation.  That I will bear their hurt feelings and that their anger will have to be directed towards me.  He has made me miserable. He has treated me poorly He has not been a support or encourager in our family.  He does a lot for show and little to fill others up.  He fills himself.  He works on jealousy and entitlement.  He ran to the door when he heard me open it tonight.....afraid that I was going somewhere.  I was taking out the dog.  It was.....awkward, to say the least.
He needs to man up and find a way to take responsibility.  But he won't.  Never does.  I apologize to the kids.  I work things through.  I hold their heads when they vomit.  (well....not anymore.)  I make sure they have what they need for school.  I ask them questions about what is REALLY going on.  I listen to them.  I see them.  He shows up for the accolades.  So, yes, I'm angry that I am going to be on the front line for their anger and pain.  It sucks.  It isn't fair.  But, this I know....we can get through it together.  They know me.  They love me.  They might be hurt or not understand.  But eventually, they will talk to me.  They will forgive me.
I want to say the realities.  But I don't want to attack their father.  I want them to be able to love and trust him as much as possible.  Stilllllll......it is not fair.  This whole marriage thing has always left me holding the bag.
Sure is nice for him.
grace to you.