Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Drinking

I am not a drinker.  But, I have to say that tonight I wished that I was.  I simply wanted to "check out" for awhile.  I am so very raw.  At the end of energy and high on stress.  And I have a lot to do coming up.  It's crazy.  And I dreaded coming home tonight.  Could barely face it.
But, I DID  do it.  And I can do the hard things.  And I can be strong.  And I can breathe.  Well, at least I can sometimes.
But, I wear simple clothes.  Easy to choose.  I am on a low maintenance schedule.....and I'm ready to be on a pampered schedule.
I need sleep.  Eventually, I'm sure.  Good sleep.  Nobody to think about.  Nobody to meet their needs.
Not having to wake up because others are.....I'm just so weary.  And crying is not exactly easy in my current situation.
Yes.  I wanted to drink.  Not always.  But tonight I wanted to.  I didn't.  Because I just couldn't bring myself to face that I am that pathetic at this stage.  Escaping.
Ok.  Enough whining....probably because there was no wining. ;)
night.

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