Always Shocked

So, the fiasco of him not going to take the kids took an interesting turn this morning.  He took our van and left the five passenger car.  For me.  Our three kids.  Our friends' two kids.  He never takes the van when he knows I'm not working.  As a matter of fact, he only leaves me the car if I'm working "far enough away to need it". So, imagine my confusion.  But, not so much.  Now I see it for what it is.  A game.  A statement.  He is irritated for some reason that I don't know.  So, he does something that seems...innocuous.  I used to think that he just didn't know.  But he has great reasoning abilities.  Super math skills.  He is responsible for decisions he makes.  I have to keep telling myself this instead of always trying to figure out WHYYYY????
And, he knows that there are even MORE kids to fit in in the afternoon.
The one thing I often wonder is why he uses this tactic on me and not others.  Or maybe he does but they don't say anything?  I don't know.  Just know that it's awkward.  Uncomfortable.  Hurtful.
And I work so hard to protect myself from these encounters now.  I'll bend over backwards to do things just so I don't have to deal with his current weird thing.  But, I'm glad that I'm taking my kids.  Because I know how that would have gone.  He would have either been late.  Or really early.  He would have had "trouble" knowing what to do or why. There would be some kind of conflict of trial that would have caused my kids stress.  I don't know why.  I try to figure it out.  I have several possibilities.  But the bottom line is that he uses things like this to  make me indebted by how much trouble they were....and to show that I didn't somehow give him enough information or time to make plans.  I don't look forward to having to continue this kind of planning.  Maybe he'll get hired in Antarctica.
grace to you.