The Trials

I am having a hard night.  A friend that wishes she was dead...or not exactly....wishes that she had a terminal illness.  She is   depressed and barely functioning.  Hurts my heart.  She feels like she has no choices.  Like she is stuck.  I know where she is.  I remember wanting to die.  I remember also how it feels to feel stuck.  All I can do is pray and hold the flashlight.
And I'm stressed.  Highly stressed.  My kids are hiding away in some ways.  Hard to get them to do the things that they need to do and to do it well.  And I'm stressed because I single parent.  Yet, I get to be criticized when I don't do it right because there is another adult in the house.  I just can't take much more.
I need him to get away.  He needs to give me time to get through.  To heal.  To figure out life again.  And I can't do it with the end result being "so I can have a relationship with you again."
And I can only hope that he doesn't get me a Valentine.  Because if he does, I will be certain that he has no respect for what I hope for or what I need.
Can I say again that I am really weary of this?  I am.  But the saddest part?  More and more I realize that he doesn't care.  Only cares how it affects him.
How do I get to take care of myself if my voice isn't respected when it is used??? Stressed.
grace to you.