Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Coast

Here we are.  At the coast.  Happy.  Nice to be with my son.  He is pleasant to be with.  We are vegging.  TV.  Computers.  Tide.  Wind.  It's beautiful.  Our house sits up on the side of a hill right by the ocean.  Seventy three steps down.  It's beautiful.  We hear the waves.  We walk frequently out onto the balcony to feel the wind...to smell the ocean air.  nice.  Truly.
And while there is much on my mind, I am mostly just here enjoying.  Need to rest.  And this is the time.  And I will enjoy it.  Though there is so much that I could worry about.  But....why?
I have a life to live.  And while I grieve, I am also ready to live past it.
I want to have a life.  Get a life.  A real life.  Where I don't spend every day stressing.  I realized as I got on the plane to come on this trip that I spend an incredible amount of time and energy on making things ok.  On  making my husband feel better.  He doesn't do the same for me.  I am going to choose to relax.  I am practicing how to breathe.  How to feel.  How to stand.  How to relax my jaw.  My face.  My arms.  I'm learning.  I have to think about it.  Working on it.
And this will be a good time to do so.
blessings.

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