Money

So, no words to speak unless it's about money.  That's the norm.  He comes.  I'm on my computer.  He is getting ready to go to bed.  "So, do you make enough money that I can set some of it aside to put tires on the van?  One on the front is nearly bald?"
"Um, remember, this was the month where I hardly worked because of break?"
"Well, the tires and brakes need to be done.  And, our taxes are due on our house at the end of the month".
"Ok. Well, regarding the van, I'll be getting our son's car so that we will have two cars with good tires and brakes."
"I didn't know you were going.  And the van still needs brakes and tires to be safe."
He is right...it needs work.  But it is over 17 years old.  Our son's car can get us through for awhile.  Now I have to give money for taxes.  On my house. That is the good news.  So.....filing?  I know that we have bills to pay.  Some credit card debt.  I want to get a better paying job.  I want out from under his constant desire to control anything I have or earn or want.  He loves money.  It makes him feel secure.  Hence, those who don't provide him with adequate savings make him upset.
I am shaking.  Nearly in tears.  He is not a nice person.  Not to me.  But somehow, it always gets turned around that it's my fault.  aaaarrrrgggghhhh.
blessings.