Realities

I told my eldest son today.  It was so hard to get the words out.  He registered pain on his face.  Showed distressed body language for awhile.  Didn't have a lot of questions.  Wanted to know why.  I told him that I couldn't share the details.  But that things aren't always as they seem when you are a child.  And that I needed to do this to heal and grow.  I told him I would never ask, expect or put him or any of his siblings in a position where they felt like they had to choose.  That I was secure in our relationship together.  He did say that he it didn't come as a complete surprise.
Look...I'm still alive.  But it was hard.  I didn't finish my financial forms.  Didn't turn in my paperwork.  But I had a nice afternoon with my son.  We got past that and talked about him.  His future.  He surprised me completely by saying that he was thinking of joining the military.  Couple of other ideas too....I told him how proud I am of him.  He is becoming a really wonderful man.  He had  beard growth today!  Amazing.
The reality is that in order to move forward, there are some tough things to go through.  But, there is good awaiting as well.
A friend a couple of days ago told me it wasn't worth it.  Because where would I be in a year.  I didn't explain the circumstances.  Not to just blurt to everyone.  Just how it is.  It's good practice.
grace to you.